Rather than Stop Seeking for Validation: I Choose to Learn Compassion

Photo by Tim Marshall on Unsplash

“Compassion is not a relationship between the healer and the wounded. It’s a relationship between equals. Only when we know our own darkness well can we be present with the darkness of others. Compassion becomes real when we recognize our shared humanity.”

Pema Chödrön, The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times

Today I just finished my morning routine, but today it feels different than before in my meditation part. Today I had a chance to be honest to myself, acknowledging that I’m not perfect, I’m only human after all. I compare myself with my boyfriend exes, trying to be like them in all aspects. But the meditation process brings me through the questions that I asked for myself; What are the good things about me? What is my value? What kind of person am I? What’s my worth in this world? And those questions bring me through the journey of practicing “compassion” rather than “stop seeking for validation”. I learn to understood that:

Nobody in the entire world has experienced life the way you have; nobody has the exact same look as you. You know more than a lot of people about some things, and a lot of people know more than you about other things.

Every event, relationship, trauma…
Nobody knows the effect it has had on you except for you.

Some have experienced indescribable pain, death of loved ones, heartbreak that’s shaken them to their core and made them believe in nothing.

Some have never even seen love; some live in fairytale romance that they got right the first time around.

Some have lived in chaos-seen nothing but range and anger for their entire lives. Some were raised in peaceful loving homes where parents encouraged them and believed in them.

Some were picked on all through school, some still get tormented in their adult lives.

Some know abuse, some don’t

Some people feel anger and annoyance over things that wouldn’t make sense to others. Some people hold on to the things that have happened to them, others don’t think twice about theirs.

Some people spend their time working on themselves while others have never even taken the time to get to know who they are.

Nobody in this entire world views things the way you do because nobody in the entire world has the same story as you.

Patience and compassion are so important at all times-nobody knows what they’re doing, nobody has got this all figured out. Everybody gets scared and everybody loses it sometimes.

No matter what has happened to you, no matter what the events were that led you up to today, it’s important to be kind.

It’s important to live from a place of love. You don’t know the story behind someone’s eyes and don’t know how much your actions and words could be affecting them. Breathe, smile, be nice; life is supposed to be fun.

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